14 August 2007

A repost of a repost of a riposte: BigMuscle.com 5

To see the other BigMuscle.com meditative reposts, you can start at the beginning or go to the last one. I suggest the former, but you are, of course, allowed to do whatever the hell you want. It is the Internets, after all. This is the fifth in the series.

11 June 2003

Where do we begin, and where does the other leave off? Can we answer this question, or do we sometimes feel like love is joining flesh into seamless flesh at points of contact like joined twins? In the beginning, this union is exhilarating. Later it may be stifling as you find yourself trapped in another's skin, in another's desires, inside another's flesh and expectations, and the only way to escape is to chop off the other like you would your own arm. (The metaphor extends: later after the amputation of the other, the remainder can feel less like the phantom itch on the hand that no longer exists than the urge to reach or gesture with a limb that isn't there, that is no long attached, no longer a part but apart.)

But this metaphor covers over another: the union of the dyad is how it feels to the organism, on the other hand how the relation functions is another matter entirely. What is this metaphor that gets lost under those satisfactions and frustrations and loathings and self-loathings of loving and hating? The metaphor is one of reflection. We see ourselves in the mirror of the other without recognizing who we are looking at--and that indeterminate who is left open, because the me we misrecognize covers over the other's "me" (or "I"), and we never see him because we see what we want to see, which is further complicated by the fact that we almost never have conscious awareness of what we want to see in an other in the first place. This is best illustrated in the way we loathe another person because he has traits that we loathe in ourselves, yet we never recognize him as being like us, as being akin; much as we do when we see ourselves in a mirror looking unflattering; we turn away with a pained look of disgust. We turn away from ourselves. And so we never see. This dynamic lays bare the dynamic of Love.


demo said...

Tony Bennett is singing...

The Rules of the Road
(Cy Coleman, Carolyn Leigh)

So these are the ropes,
The tricks of the trade,
The rules of the road.

I’m one of the dopes
For whom they were made,
I’m a fool of the road.

You follow that kiss and recklessly miss
A bend of the road,
Then suddenly this--
The end of the road.

Love is a hoax,
A glittering string
Of little white lies.
But these are the jokes,
That’s why they bring
The tears to your eyes?

Well, love often shows a funny return.
The brighter it glows,
The longer you burn.
And Lord only knows
Love has little concern for the fools of the road.

But that's how it goes,
You live and you learn,
The rules of the road.

GayProf said...

This is best illustrated in the way we loathe another person because he has traits that we loathe in ourselves,

Are you hitting on me?

jnUlrick said...

Sehr interessant mein Herr.
Ich hoefe dir im der stadt (Nouvel York) sehen.
Mann kann mein Eroffnung fuer der Austellung "Infinite Island: Contemporary Caribbean Art" im Brooklyn Museum um 31.August finden.
(Ugh! Schwer Fkt Deustchsprache! grrr-but you get it)
Bis bald
dein exmitbewohner...jeanUlrick
drop me an eMail

PS- this you must already know:
Schwarze Milch der Frühe wir trinken sie abends
wir trinken sie mittags und morgens wir trinken sie nachts
wir trinken und trinken
wir schaufeln ein Grab in den Lüften da liegt man nicht eng
Ein Mann wohnt im Haus der spielt mit den Schlangen der schreibt
der schreibt wenn es dunkelt nach Deutschland dein goldenes Haar Margarete
er schreibt es und tritt vor das Haus und es blitzen die Sterne er pfeift seine Rüden herbei
er pfeift seine Juden hervor läßt schaufeln ein Grab in der Erde
er befiehlt uns spielt auf nun zum Tanz...

tralfaz said...

Hi, I don't know how I found your blog, but I love you and want to bear your children. Well, I don't have a womb, but you know what I mean. I hope I remember to come back here.

bstewart23 said...

Buddy I *know* I need to apologize for this, but... you've been tagged: http://bstewart23.com/blog/2007/09/13/eight-is-more-than-enough/